Duo's Journal
by Jeice
Summary: Takes place after the war. Duo has been keeping a journal about the things that have been happening in his life. 1X2 and 3X4. The rating is for later chapters. Please review.
1. What does he want?

This isn't really my first attempt at writing a fic, but I would really like your comments/flames. I need to know what you would like to read, so please review.  
  
I DO NOT OWN GUNDAM WING OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS and so on.Basically don't sue me for having fun.  
  
Overview: This is a Journal that Duo has been writing in since the end of the war. There are no pairings yet in this Chapter/Entry, there is a small suggestion that Trowa and Quatre are, but I assure you they aren't. Well you have to read the rest to find out what's going on.  
  
After the war, there was a unanimous decision to start the date system over, beginning with PT(peace time) 001.  
  
[ Duo's Thoughts ] *Action  
  
Journal Entry No. 1 December 4, PT 001  
  
It's been a long time since I last written. Today had started just like every other day since the war has ended. I'm seldom able to find time to be alone and let everything out. Take this morning for example.  
  
----Flash Back----  
  
"Duo!" came the voice from downstairs.  
  
"Five more minutes!"  
  
"No, get up now!"  
  
"Fine, I'm up, I'm up, are you happy!?" [Every morning it's the same thing. You would think getting up at six in the morning is a bit early for going to school.Sometimes I wish we didn't have to go to school, or at least have taken a break after the war, so I could catch up on my sleep.] "I guess I should get up before Heero."  
  
*Knocking at the door  
  
"Duo, I called for you to get up ten minutes ago."  
  
"I'm up Heero."  
  
"Well hurry and take a shower so we can go."  
  
"Okay, I'll be down in a bit.. I've got to be the only person in the world with a human alarm clock complete with snooze setting."  
  
"I heard that." Heero said as he walked back down the stairs.  
  
[And perfect hearing.but what do you expect from the 'Perfect Soldier'] I thought. "Let's see, what should I wear today? I don't really feel like being flashy today, hmmm. I guess I'll just wear my black jeans and a sweater. Now for a shower before 'Mr. Perfect' down there says something about not hearing any movement."  
  
After getting out of the shower and drying off, I had to dry and braid my hair. Once all that was finished, I got dressed and headed downstairs to meet Heero before the bus came to pick us up.  
  
"Hey Heero, does this look okay?"  
  
I turned around to give him a good look at what I was wearing.  
  
"Should I wear this sweater or a turtleneck.?"  
  
He just sat there and stared at me with those cobalt eyes that seem to pierce into your soul, as if he were in an entirely different universe or something.  
  
"Heero.Heero...Colony to Heero."  
  
"Hn?" as he shook off his daze.  
  
"Does this look okay, or should I wear something else?"  
  
There was another pause, as he was staring at me again.  
  
"Heero!"  
  
"Duo you look fine, let's head out to the bus stop."  
  
[I wonder if he's okay, he's been like this for a while, ever since the end of the war. It's as if he's trying to find something. Maybe, he's just going though some kinda post war withdrawal or something, and since I'm the only one here he looks at me trying to remember the past.]  
  
"Duo, you coming?"  
  
"Here I come, let me grab my books."  
  
We left the little apartment we called home and headed for the bus stop. The walk was pretty uneventful and let's face it, BORING. After about five minutes of walking I couldn't take it anymore, the silence was killing me.  
  
"Hey, Heero."  
  
"Hn?"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"."  
  
"Why is it we have to go to school? I mean we just saved the Earth, the Colonies, and all of mankind. Don't you think we deserve a break?"  
  
"Hn."  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
  
"Duo, we've been over this everyday for the past 3 months. We are going to school so we can get jobs, so we don't have to keep steeling funds from various organizations, mainly the former OZ."  
  
"Pftt."  
  
"Don't complain, because of our training and our skills we were able to skip ninth, tenth, and eleventh grade."  
  
"But."  
  
"we only have two weeks before winter break. At that time you will be able to do whatever you want for a month and a half. After that, we will only have 4 months of school left."  
  
"I guess, but I still don't understand why we."  
  
"Good morning guys!" came a voice from a few feet away.  
  
"Oh, hey Quatre, hey Trowa. Good morning to you too. Hey since you guys are here maybe you can answer this question for me."  
  
"If it's about why we have to go to school, you already know what I'm going to say." Quatre quickly said before I could ask the question. I then turned to Trowa and he gave me the customary glance and said,  
  
"You know my answer as well, I'm only here 'cause of Quatre, and I don't want to go back to the circus."  
  
"Well you guys aren't any help." I pouted out in frustration. "At least tell me why Wufei doesn't have to be here."  
  
"Because we are all doing things that we enjoy doing." Quatre said. "Heero is studying computer programming and information systems, I am studying business and economics, Trowa is studying political science, and you said you wanted to study computers with Heero as well as accounting. Besides, the school Wufei chose to attend allowed him to study culinary arts, which is something that came natural to him."  
  
"Yea, yea, ' Mr. Kitchen Wiz' gets to go to a different school and doesn't have to get up 'till eight, while we have to."  
  
"Stop complaining Duo."  
  
[Now he has something to say.and why is he always staring at me?]  
  
".the bus is coming."  
  
Later that Day  
  
[Today is taking forever.I'm glad this is the last , and my favorite, class of the day.]  
  
"You've got Mail" the computer chimed.  
  
[I wonder who would be mailing me something in school?]  
  
*Opens E-Mail  
  
Email:  
Duo, It's me, Heero.  
I need to talk to you when we get home.  
  
[I wonder what he wants? Oh well, I guess I will find out at home.WHY is he staring at me again?]  
  
*Bell Rings  
  
At the Bus Stop  
  
Trowa, Quatre, and I stepped off the buss, but no Heero  
  
"Hey Quat, did you see Heero on the bus?"  
  
"No Duo, I haven't seen him since the bus ride this morning, sorry."  
  
"What about you Tro?"  
  
"I saw him in the hall between third and forth periods. I believe he said he needed to go to the library to pick up a book for English or something." "Oh.I guess that makes sense.so, what are you guys gonna do tonight?'  
  
When Quatre quickly said, "The same thing we do every night Pinky. Try to take over the world!"  
  
Trowa and I basically fell flat on our faces.  
  
"Seriously though," he continued, "I'm going to type up this report for my business class, then probably watch a cartoon or two."  
  
Trowa continued by saying, "I'm gonna get as much homework done before I head off to Gymnastics Practice."  
  
"Gymnastics??? I thought you said you were done with the circus?" I asked trying not to laugh to hard.  
  
"Yes.I never said I didn't' like the circus and what I did, i...it's just."  
  
Seeing Trowa starting to loose his composure Quatre quickly interrupted.  
  
"Trowa just wants to stay in shape now that the war is over and he's not part of the circus anymore."  
  
[Oh man, if I knew Trowa had missed the circus that much I would have never said anything. It almost looks like he's gonna cry.] "Sorry Tro, if I knew you missed the Circus."  
  
That's okay Duo, you didn't know.I'm gonna head over to the apartment."  
  
Trowa started to walk back to their place.  
  
"Here I come Trowa.Hey duo, if you want, you can come with us."  
  
"Nah, I'm supposed to meet Heero at our Apartment. He said we needed to talk. I don't know what about, but guess, I'll find out when he gets back."  
  
"Oh, well if you guys finish your talk, feel free to stop by anytime. I'm going to catch up with Trowa; he looks a bit shaken up. See ya later!"  
  
Quatre ran to catch Trowa before he got too far ahead of him. I just headed back to the apartment, picked up the mail, went inside and decided to watch T.V.  
  
[Figure nothing's on but the really kiddy shows.]  
  
I had decided to go and make a snack before going upstairs. After looking around the kitchen for about five minutes, I gave up and went upstairs and did my homes work.  
  
[I knew I shouldn't have waited 'till the last minute to do this paper...Looks like I'm going to be up all night trying to finish this.]  
  
*Cranked up the music  
  
I sat at my desk and started writing. When I looked up at the clock again, it was about 7:30.  
  
[Wow, I wonder if Heero is back yet?] "Heero!"  
  
Nothing  
  
[Maybe he's downstairs on the couch watching T.V like he normally does.]  
  
I headed downstairs to check, and he wasn't there.  
  
[Maybe he stopped over Quatre's and lost track of time. After all he is a hardcore fan of cartoons like Quatre, so I will give him a call.]  
  
*Dialing  
  
"Hey Quatre."  
  
"Oh hey, Duo, what's up?"  
  
"Is Heero over there?"  
  
"No, he isn't. Is there a problem?"  
  
"No.well sort of. You see, Heero told me to meet him at home so we could talk, and I haven't seen or heard from him since forth (last) period today, when he sent me email in class."  
  
"."  
  
"Quatre, you there?"  
  
"Um. Yea"  
  
"well if you."  
  
"Trowa not.mmm.now, I'm on the phone with.ahh.Duo."  
  
"Quatre is everything okay over there?"  
  
"Uh. Everything is fine. Look if I see Heero, I'll tell him you are looking for him, I'll see ya tomorrow, okay."  
  
----END FLASHBACK---  
  
Quatre hung up on me before I could even say goodbye. I am still wondering what they were doing over there. Odd, huh journal???  
  
Well, I know that the library closes at ten, and it was only half past eight when I started telling you what's going on. I had decided to wait 'till after ten that way if Heero was still at the library, he would have time to walk home. Its half past 10 and Heero still hasn't come home. So, I am going to end it here, because I need to go find him. I will write again tomorrow to let you know what happened.  
  
P.S. I am really worried about him journal. I hope I can find him.  
  
To be continued. 


	2. Where is he?

Thanks for the reviews!!! I really enjoyed them. Let me know what you think in this of this next chapter. I know it's short, but it should have a big impact on the rest of the story.  
  
BY THE WAY: This journal entry takes place the same night Duo goes out to find Heero.  
  
Journal Entry No. 2 December 5, PT 001  
  
Dear Journal,  
  
I told you I would write again and tell you what happened. You won't believe what that idiot did. After I went out to look for him...  
  
----Flash Back----  
  
[Heero where are you? It's not like you to stay out this late. Quatre said he wasn't there, so I will go check the library; maybe they changed the hours since I've been there last.]  
  
At the Library  
  
"Well, they haven't changed the hours, so wheres Heero?" [Where would he go, knowing that he wanted to talk to me. He wouldn't go to Relena's, especially not after they broke up. What did he see in her, other than blond hair and a nice smile? All I ever see is a whiny little girl that gets to have whatever she wants. I don't see how she brought about peace to Earth and the Colonies.]  
  
"Hey there cutie" a gruff voice came from the shadows of a nearby alley.  
  
"No, I'm not your Heero, hot stuff" he said as the tall hairy man stepped fro m out of the shadows and roughly grabbed me. "I'm your knight in shinning armor."  
  
"I don't want any trouble." I said as my heart began to race.  
  
"Neither do I" the man replied with a slight laugh. "I just want a piece of that nice ass you got there." He finished as he began groping me.  
  
"You don't want to do that."  
  
"Oh yea, well, you're right. I want to do much more."  
  
*Zip  
  
The man pulled me in front of him.  
  
"Again, you really don't want to do that."  
  
"And what are you gonna do? You are in no position to be telling me what I can and can't do you little slut!"  
  
"That's it! Nobody calls me a slut and lives to repeat it!!"  
  
"Is that right my little."  
  
I grabbed the man's arm and twisted it until I heard it pop. I then punched him in the stomach and somehow managed to get him to the ground. I then straddled him and waited for him to say something.  
  
"Ah.I see you are a tough little harlot...If you wanted to be on top.you should have said so. You didn't have to break my arm you little slut."  
  
With that, I grabbed my knife out of my back pocket and slit his throat. All he could do was look at me with his eyes wide open in shock.  
  
"I told you before, don't call me a slut."  
  
As I stood up his eyes closed and the man stopped breathing. I turned away and ran as fast as I could. My eyes were tearing up. I had to get out of there.I had to find Heero.  
  
[Heero, please be okay.]  
  
After about two hours of roaming the streets searching frantically for Heero, I decided to head back to the apartment. Sure enough, Heero.my Heero, Mr. Perfect was there, sitting on the couch.  
  
"Heero! You're okay!"  
  
"Of course I am baka, why wouldn't I be. And where have been? Didn't you get my message in."  
  
"Where have I been!?! Where have I been!?! I'll tell you where I've been!! I've been out looking for you. I've been out almost getting raped by some guy in a dark alley, 'cause you never came home!!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Don't give me that! I've had the night from hell, because you told me to meet you here and then you decided to go and have fun while I sat at home worrying myself sick!"  
  
"You.you worried about me?"  
  
"Why the hell else would I go out in the middle of the night looking for you? Heero.I killed that man that tried to rape me.because he called me a slut and.he was keeping me from finding you.and all you seem to care about is yourself."  
  
My eyes began wouldn't let me hold back my emotions anymore. I started to cry.  
  
"Hn."  
  
"That's it? That's all you have to say, after what you put me through?"  
  
"What do you want me to say?"  
  
With that I lost the little bit of control I had left. I ran past him, up the stairs, and slammed the door.  
  
----End Flash Back----  
  
That was about 20 minutes ago journal. I don't know why he acts like that. I was really worried about him. I showed some concern for his well being and he threw it in my face. I just wish he wouldn't be so cold all the time, at least not towards me. I have been with him through everything. I usually cook for him and even clean for him. That's right Journal, I clean just so he will notice me. Journal, I love him. I just wish that he would love me back.  
  
Well journal, sorry for the short entry. It's almost 2 a.m., and I think I'm about to cry again, so I will write again later.  
  
P.S. Thanks for listening, journal. You are the only one that doesn't throw my comments back in my face.  
  
To be continued.  
  
THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS OF THE FIRST CHAPTER.  
  
Let me know what you think of this one. I'm sorry it takes me so long to write these. I am trying to wait and get feed back from you so I know what you like and don't like.  
  
CYA LATER 


	3. What's going on?

Well, here is the next entry of "Duo's Journal" I hope you guys are enjoying this. If there is something you think I should change please let me know. Keep the reviews coming, as they are a big confidence boost.  
  
Anyway I didn't put a disclaimer in the last chapter, so this will stand for last chapter, this chapter, and any other chapters that I might add to this fix.  
  
DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING. I am just writing this for fun not profit. IF you sue me, you won't get anything, so what's the point.  
  
I guess that's it.  
  
[Duo's thoughts] "Speech" *Actions  
  
Alright here we go.  
  
Journal Entry No. 3 Friday, December 6, PT 001  
  
It's about 11:30 in the after noon. I didn't really feel like going to school today. I had to fight Heero though.  
  
----Flash Back----  
  
"Duo!" came the voice from downstairs.  
  
"."  
  
"Get up!"  
  
"."  
  
"Don't make me come up there!"  
  
"."  
  
*Knock Knock  
  
"Get up, Duo! Please don't make me come in there."  
  
"Leave me alone, Heero!"  
  
"No, get up! We have to get to school."  
  
"I'm not going."  
  
"What?"  
  
"You heard me, I'm not going!"  
  
"Duo, if you don't get out of that bed."  
  
"I'm not going."  
  
*Crash  
  
"Get up!" he demanded with that look as if he had just accepted a mission.  
  
"What the hell?! Get out of my room!"  
  
"Not until you get up."  
  
"No!"  
  
At that point I noticed him change. He didn't look different, but after years of fighting along side him. I could see it in his eyes that his mood had changed.  
  
"Look, Duo, if this is about last night..."  
  
"I don't want to hear about it...I went out looking for you because."  
  
"I know, I know."  
  
"Then why did you try to make it seem like it was my fault???"  
  
"I.I don't know."  
  
"Then until you do know, I don't wanna talk to you."  
  
"But."  
  
"You heard me, get out and leave me alone!"  
  
"Duo, I."  
  
"Hey, isn't that the bus?"  
  
"What...Shit."  
  
With that he ran out my door and down the steps. Once he was out the front door, I threw my head under the covers and fell to sleep.  
  
While I was sleeping I had this nightmare, or daymare, or whatever you want to call it. All I can really remember is.  
  
----Dream----  
  
Heero was standing in the middle of the street. He was wearing his usual green tank top and black spandex shorts. I started to walk towards him, smiling.  
  
"Hey, Heero!"  
  
"."  
  
"Why are you standing out here in the middle of the street?"  
  
He put his hand out and grasped mine. Then he gently pulled me into some building.  
  
"Hey Heero, where are we going?"  
  
"."  
  
"Heero?"  
  
"."  
  
"At least give me a 'HN' like you normally o."  
  
"."  
  
[What's going on? He's usually quiet and stoic like this and all, but at least he would acknowledge me.]  
  
"Heero, are you okay?"  
  
"."  
  
"Heero, at least say something to let me know you are listening to me."  
  
"I'm not Heero."  
  
"What? What do you mean.of course you are Heero, you."  
  
He turned around and faced me and...  
  
"Remember me?"  
  
"No.it.it can't be."  
  
"Ah, but it is me, your knight in shinning armor."  
  
"No! It can't be. I.I killed you in the alley."  
  
"Ah, maybe you did, but then again, maybe you didn't."  
  
"What do you want with me...what did you do to."  
  
"You're Heero is fine.all I want from you is."  
  
*Zip  
  
"No.you can't you, you are dead..."  
  
At that moment, I relaxed, because I realized that I could beat this guy. I did it once and I wasn't about to.  
  
"Are you ready you little.  
  
"Don't even say it, or I will do more than slit your throat this time."  
  
"Say what.SLUT"  
  
With that, I ran at him in a blind rage. He quickly grabbed my arm and pinned me to the ground. I couldn't move.  
  
[This isn't happening.Thin can't be happening.]  
  
"Have a hard time, slut?"  
  
"Let go of my arms, and I will show you a hard time."  
  
"Now why would I do a thing like that? I remember what happened last time."  
  
The man had a gleam in his eyes.  
  
"I'm not lettin' go until I have my way with you."  
  
"Never."  
  
"Now I wouldn't say that."  
  
I tried to struggle again and again, but I couldn't break free.  
  
"Struggle all you want it won't help. Now get ready, 'cause your about to get the fuck of your life."  
  
He began to force himself into me, and all I could do was scream.  
  
----End Dream----  
  
"Ahhhh!!!"  
  
I woke up in a cold sweat. It was almost three in the afternoon.  
  
[I need to get up.man, that dream seemed almost real. I.]  
  
*Phone rings  
  
[Who could that be, this early in the day?]  
  
"Hello."  
  
"Duo! Are you okay, why weren't you in school, what wrong with."  
  
"Quatre, buddy, slow down.One question at a time."  
  
"Oh, sorry. First question, why weren't you in school?"  
  
"I had a rough night that's all."  
  
"Is everything okay? Do you need me to get you anything?"  
  
"No, I'm fine Quat."  
  
"Well, I just have one more question, and I'll let you go."  
  
"Okay, shoot."  
  
"What's up with Heero?"  
  
"I don't know," I said bluntly.  
  
"I mean he's been acting differently."What I mean is that he's been kinda quiet, well more so than usual."  
  
"You've noticed it too, I see."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Well Quat, ever since last night, he's been different."  
  
"How so?"  
  
"Well, you know yesterday, I told you that Heero and I were going to meet here after school, and he never showed. I went looking for him, and when I came back, he tried to turn it around on me."  
  
"That doesn't make any sense, Duo."  
  
"There's more to it, Quat, but I will tell you the whole story later."  
  
"Okay, well, Heero should be there in about five minutes."  
  
"Okay, Quat. I guess I will talk to you later."  
  
"Talk to you later then."  
  
"See ya, Quatre."  
  
[I guess I should get up before, I have to hear Heero complain about how lazy I am.]  
  
I got out of bed and headed to the bathroom for a shower. I took my stereo with me to help me wake up.  
  
I was in the shower for about five minutes, with the stereo up as loud as possible when.  
  
*Click  
  
The sound from the stereo suddenly stopped.  
  
[What the.]  
  
"Heero!! A little privacy! I am in the shower her!"  
  
He was just standing there staring at me, just like yesterday before school and in fourth period.  
  
"Well, what do you want!!"  
  
"."  
  
"If you aren't going to say anything, get out and let me finish my shower!"  
  
"When you're done, come downstairs. We need to talk."  
  
"I'm not speaking to you until you apologize for what happened last night."  
  
"Hn.Downstairs when you are done."  
  
*Click  
  
The stereo was turned back on and he left the bathroom as quietly as he entered.  
  
[The nerve of that guy. I can't even get a little privacy. Have I ever just busted in on him?]  
  
----30 minutes later----  
  
I walked downstairs only to see Heero sitting on the couch as usual with the TV on and he was typing away on his laptop.  
  
[What could he possibly be doing on that stupid laptop all day. It doesn't take me that long to do my work, and I know he is faster and more accurate that I am. After all, he is, or was, the Perfect Soldier.]  
  
"Well, what do you want?"  
  
"Hn."  
  
"Is that it? You rushed me just to say, HN."  
  
"Hold on for a minute, I'm almost done."  
  
"Huff"  
  
[He rushed me out of my shower just to make me wait. This talk better be really important, or.]  
  
"Okay"  
  
"Okay, what"  
  
"Come sit over here."  
  
I prefer to stand here."  
  
"Just sit down, Duo."  
  
"Fine...Now, what is so important that you tell me to be here yesterday and then you not show up. And today, you rush me out of the shower and then make me wait."  
  
"Duo.I need your help."  
  
"."  
  
That caught me off guard.  
  
"What do you mean Heero, are you okay, what is it??"  
  
"I can't say right now, just know that I am sorry for last night, I just couldn't bring myself to look at you."  
  
"Oh, that's how it is! You bring me down here. You catch me off guard by asking for my help and apologizing, just to insult me!!!"  
  
"That's not what I meant."  
  
"Then what did you mean?"  
  
"I meant to say that I couldn't come home and see you without preparing myself first."  
  
"So you are saying I'm ugly and you don't want to see me."  
  
"Damn it.That's not what I meant either. What I am really trying to say is."  
  
"Just go back to your computer and leave me alone."  
  
"Duo, wait."  
  
"No, all you do is think about yourself. You never take in consideration my feelings or anything. I cook and clean just to get you to notice me, and yet you never do."  
  
"Duo."  
  
"No! Until you can show considerations for someone other than yourself, just.just leave me alone."  
  
"Duo."  
  
"Leave me alone, Heero."  
  
----End Flash Back----  
  
I ran back up to my room, with tears in my eyes. I managed to put the door back on its hinges, and that's when I started writing. I guess I will write again soon to let you what else is going on in my tragic life.  
  
P.S. Tomorrow is Saturday and we may not be home, because we are meeting Quatre and Trowa, so I will write on Sunday. 


	4. Who's this crush?

Hey All: Thanks for the reviews. I'm sorry that there are a lot of unanswered questions in this fic, but I will try to answer them as we go.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own this. This is just for fun, not profit.  
  
Key:  
  
[Duo's thoughts] *Actions  
  
Here we go.  
  
Journal Entry No. 4 Sunday, December 8, PT 001  
  
Well Journal, I guess I can definitely say that Saturday went better than Friday. After I locked myself in my room again on Friday, Heero stopped by several times to check on me. The first time I didn't answer him.  
  
----Flash Back----  
  
"Duo?"  
  
"."  
  
"Duo, I'm sorry."  
  
"Go away"  
  
"Duo, if you would hear me out."  
  
I swung the door open in a mad fury.  
  
"Why should I...you just want me out there so you can insult me again.you the person that cares only for himself."  
  
"That's not true, Duo, and you know it."  
  
"Do I? Ever since the end of the war, we have been living in this apartment. All I have seen so far is you going to school and when you aren't in school you are on that damn laptop. You barely say anything to anybody, and when you do, you don't even say it in a full sentence. How is it that you want me to believe you care for others when we, just you and me, Heero, can't even have a normal conversation in our own home? Tell me this Heero. Tell me how you expect me to believe you when you don't show any concern for your friends in their time of need."  
  
"I...I don't know."  
  
"Well then you need to figure that out, then we can talk."  
  
----End Flash Back----  
  
By that point, Journal, he was staring at me again, but this time.this time was different. His glare didn't have that piercing feeling. It looked as though he was truly lost. I have never seen him look that way. I gently closed the door with him staring at me. What am I to do, journal? He looked so confused and I wanted to help him, but I know he won't accept my help. I guess I will have to wait for him to come to me and tell me the truth, and be serious about it.  
  
Yesterday, Saturday, morning started off just the same as every other day.  
  
----Flash Back----  
  
"Get up!"  
  
"No.it's Saturday, let me sleep."  
  
*Knock Knock  
  
"Duo?"  
  
"Go watch cartoons like you normally do and let me stay in bed for a while."  
  
"Duo, did you forget that we are supposed to meet with Quatre and Trowa?"  
  
"What time is it?"  
  
"9:30"  
  
"What?!?"  
  
"Yea, we have to be there in an hour, so you might want to get up."  
  
"Here I come.Heero, about yesterday."  
  
"Yea?"  
  
".Never mind."  
  
"No, what is it?"  
  
"Well.did you mean.well, what I'm trying to say is."  
  
"Yea?"  
  
"Well.you wouldn't hide anything from me, would you?"  
  
"Um.No, Duo, I wouldn't keep anything from you."  
  
"Okay"  
  
"Hurry up, we don't have much time. Meet me downstairs when you are ready."  
  
"Alright, Heero."  
  
[He just lied to me. I can't believe he just lied to me. After all this time, he still doesn't trust me. What d I have to do to get him to trust me?]  
  
----30 minutes later----  
  
"Hey, Heero!!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"What time is it?!"  
  
"10:05"  
  
"I'll be down in a minute."  
  
"."  
  
About ten minutes later I walked downstairs wearing a pair of jeans, a black t-shirt, and a black and white overshirt unbuttoned. I made it to the bottom of the steps, when I noticed that Heero was again tapping way at his computer again.  
  
"Heero, what is it that you are working on when you are on that computer?"  
  
"Hn"  
  
"Every time I see you, you're on that computer. What are you writing?"  
  
"Heero?"  
  
"It's nothing Duo."  
  
"Then you can tell me what it is."  
  
"No" "Come on, let me read it."  
  
"No, Duo."  
  
"Please."  
  
"No, I don't go around reading your journal, do I?"  
  
Oh, s it's a journal.wait, how did you know I had a journal? You've been sneaking around in my room."  
  
"No, I haven't"  
  
"Then how do you know I have a journal?"  
  
"You had it sitting on your nightstand when I came up there this morning."  
  
"If I find that you have been reading my journal."  
  
"Relax Duo; I haven't looked at your journal."  
  
"Okay.So, you're writing a journal. What kinda journal?"  
  
"Hn"  
  
"You know, is it for school project or English class, OR, is it a personal journal?"  
  
"That's none of your business."  
  
"So it's personal."  
  
"What? I mean no it isn't."  
  
"Yea sure, Heero, you were never really good at lying, well at least to me."  
  
"Hn."  
  
[I've gotta see what's in that journal, but how? He always has that computer with him.]  
  
"Duo, whatever you're thinking, stop."  
  
"What?"  
  
"You know what."  
  
"I wasn't thinkin' anything." "Duo, you had that look."  
  
"What look?" I grinned at him.  
  
"That look.just stay away from my laptop, and I will stay away from your journal."  
  
"Deal."  
  
[Like hell I'm going to pass up the opportunity to see what's on that laptop, especially since he is being so secretive about it.]  
  
"Um.Heero, what time are we leaving for Quatre's?"  
  
"In five minutes."  
  
"Are you going to wear that?" I asked pointed to his usual tank top and sorts. "Don't you think you should at least change into some long pants of some kind?"  
  
"Hn.when I come back, be ready to go."  
  
"Okay."  
  
He continued up the steps.  
  
[Good, he's gone, now let's see what's on this computer.Shit, why does he always encrypt everything AND use passwords.ok here it is. Now all I have to do is email this file to myself and.Done.]  
  
"Are you ready, Duo?"  
  
"Uh.Uh.yea, hurry up!"  
  
Heero came back down the steps in some jeans and a blue shirt.  
  
[Man he looks so hot in that outfit.]  
  
"Let me get my jacket and we can go," he said, "call Quatre and Trowa and tell them we are on our way."  
  
"Fine."  
  
*Dialing  
  
"H-Hello?"  
  
"Hey, Quat, how's it goin'?"  
  
"F-Fine.Uh, when are you and.Ahh.When are you and Heero coming over?"  
  
"We are leaving now.Quatre is everything okay over there. You are breathing kinda hard?"  
  
"."  
  
"Quatre?"  
  
"Unnn.yea."  
  
"Quatre?"  
  
"Um.yea, Duo, come on over. See you when you get here."  
  
*Click  
  
[Okay that's the second time that's happened when I've called over there. Something's up, and I have an idea what it is.]  
  
----Ten minutes later----  
  
*Knock Knock  
  
"Yo, Quatre, it's us. Hurry up and let us in."  
  
"Calm down Duo, here I come right now."  
  
*Door opens  
  
Quatre was standing there with that wide smile tat could light the world ten times over.  
  
"Come in, Trowa just got out of the shower, he will be down in a few minutes."  
  
"So, where are we going this week?"  
  
"Well, I thought we could take Trowa to see some of his friends at the circus. Then we could do dinner, a movie, or go to a club or something."  
  
"I'm up for that.Hey Heero, what do you think?"  
  
"."  
  
"Heero?" [What the hell, I can't take this anymore.] "Heero, why are you always staring at me?"  
  
"."  
  
"See what I mean, Quat?"  
  
"I think I'm beginning to see the problem, Duo?"  
  
[Now to find out about Quatre and those phone incidents]  
  
"So, Quat, did Trowa start staring at you and stuff before you two."  
  
"No, Trowa never acted like that, he just.I mean he."  
  
"I just walked up and kissed him just like this."  
  
[That was easier than I thought.]  
  
"Trowa, why did you tell him. I thought."  
  
"We can't keep hiding it, especially not from our friends."  
  
"I guess you're right."  
  
"So, how long have you two."  
  
"About two months," Quatre answered."  
  
"Wow, I'm surprised I didn't notice before those two phone calls I made."  
  
[Heero is still staring at me, what the Hell.]  
  
"Quatre, why didn't you want to tell us?"  
  
"I don't know, I guess you wouldn't accept us if you knew we were."  
  
"Heck no! Why would you think that?"  
  
"Well, Heero said."  
  
Heero look up at Quatre with one of his famous glares. Then Quatre looked away and changed the subject.  
  
"Well, since Trowa is done with his shower, why don't we head out?"  
  
[What the hell was that about? What does Heero have to do with them not telling me about that they are in a relationship?]  
  
"Where are we going," Trowa asked as he wrapped his arms around Quatre?  
  
"It's a surprise."  
  
With that we headed out. We used Quatre's car and headed for the main space port. Quatre had already booked us a round trip ticket, first class of course, to L3, where Trowa grew up and where the circus was.  
  
----Two hours later---  
  
"Why are we here," Trowa asked?  
  
"This was the surprise I was telling you about. I knew you really missed the circus, so I booked a flight here so you could say hi to your friends."  
  
"Quatre, you really didn't have."  
  
"Yes I did, I couldn't just stand by and watch you sit at home and detach yourself from the rest of us."  
  
[Oh boy, here they go. I'm all for them being together and all, but do they have to go at it every five minutes?]  
  
"Hey, while you two are playing tongue war, Heero and I will go and get some seats."  
  
"Hn."  
  
"Aw come on Heero. Let's give them some privacy."  
  
Ten minutes later, we found our seats. I bought some popcorn, cotton candy and some soda, and Heero just bought water. We sat there for a while waiting for the show to begin. Heero seemed to be a little uncomfortable.  
  
"Duo?"  
  
"Yea"  
  
"Look, I'm sorry about yesterday."  
  
"Yea sure, whatever."  
  
"No, I am sorry for what I said. I've had a lot on my mind lately."  
  
"Yea, we s have I, but.never mind."  
  
"You don't have to tell me, I understand if you don't trust me. Just know that I am here for you if you have any problems."  
  
[What's going on? Maybe all that yelling I've been doing has finally sunk into that thick head of his.]  
  
"Yea, Heero, same goes for you, okay.Oh great, here come the clowns."  
  
"Hn"  
  
"Aw.don't be so sour, clowns are funny."  
  
"Yea well the last time I saw someone with their face painted, I had a gun pointed to my head."  
  
"Hey, I didn't know."  
  
"Of course you wouldn't, that was before the war, and way before we met."  
  
"Oh"  
  
"Look, I'm going for a breath of fresh air."  
  
"You want me to go to."  
  
"No, stay here and have fun, I'll be back in a few minutes."  
  
With that he walked up the aisle and disappeared into the crowd. I turned back to the clown act that was going on in the center ring.  
  
[I never could figure out how they fit so many people into that small car?]  
  
"Hey, Duo!"  
  
"Hey Quat, what's up?"  
  
"Nothing much, Trowa is going to be performing as a special guest. Where is Heero?"  
  
"He went out for some air. Personally, after what he told me, I don't think he cares much for clowns."  
  
"Well, I hope he decides to come back soon, because Trowa is up next."  
  
"Hey, Quat, watch the seats, I'm going to go look for him."  
  
I left Quatre in the tent and went outside. Heero wasn't in plain sight. I called out his name but he didn't answer. Inside they were announcing Trowa over the microphone. It was at that moment when I saw Heero sitting under a tree."  
  
"Hey! Heero, over here!"  
  
He looked up at me with a glare as if he were trying to tell me to go away.  
  
"Heero, if we hurry we can still catch part of Trowa's act."  
  
"Hn"  
  
"What's up, Heero?"  
  
"I really don't care much to go back in there, Duo."  
  
"Is this because of the clowns?"  
  
"No, I just don't want to go back in there."  
  
"Well then, I will stay out here and keep you company."  
  
"You don't have."  
  
"Sure I do. I wouldn't want to be out here alone. Maybe we can have that chat you've been talking about for the past couple of days."  
  
He looked a bit confused when I mentioned the conversation that has caused so many problems.  
  
"Yea Heero, I'm willing to listen this time."  
  
"Hn."  
  
"I really mean it this time."  
  
"Well, I wanted to ask for your help with a personal matter. You have to keep it to yourself though."  
  
"Ok, don't."  
  
"I'm serious, Duo. You can't even tell Trowa and Quatre. I don't know what you are writing in that journal, but I don't even want it mentioned in there."  
  
[Well, I guess that proves he hasn't looked at my journal.] "I promise, Heero." [But I don't promise to not write it in my journal.]  
  
"Well, Duo, my problem is.well, it's kinda complicated."  
  
"Try me."  
  
"Well, there is this person and.well I feel very close to this person, but I don't know how to tell them."  
  
"Ah, so you have a crush on someone."  
  
"Yea, I guess."  
  
"You don't sound too thrilled Heero."  
  
"Well, how would you feel if you had a crush on someone and you didn't know how to tell them?"  
  
"I know better than you think."  
  
"Oh, well who do you have a crush on?"  
  
"That's none of your business Heero," I pouted and gave a small frown, and he gave me a small smirk.  
  
"Okay, Duo. I won't ask anymore, but this person is very close to me, and lately we haven't been able to get along."  
  
"Please don't tell me it's Relena."  
  
"FUCK NO! What in hell would give you that idea you stupid baka?"  
  
"Hey sorry, I just figured since you two are always arguing in school. I kinda just assumed it was her."  
  
"Well, I'm not."  
  
"Gee, don't go self-destruct over it. I was just guessing."  
  
"May I finish?"  
  
"."  
  
"Thank you, now I want to do something for this person. Something special, so I can show them I really care for them. What should I do?"  
  
"Well."  
  
"Hey Duo, Heero! What happened? You both missed Trowa's act, not to mention the last hour of the circus."  
  
"Well Quat, Heero didn't want to go back in, so I stayed out here and we talked for a bit."  
  
"Well, we are ready to head back to L4."  
  
"Alright Quat, we'll meet you at the car okay."  
  
Quatre and Trowa headed over to the car. Trowa looked happier than he ever has in the past few months.  
  
"Hey, Heero, we can finish this when we get back to the apartment later tonight, if that's okay with you of course."  
  
"Hn"  
  
"Is that a yes or a no?"  
  
"Yea we can finish this later."  
  
"Great, let's get to the car before Quatre and Trowa Christen it."  
  
"Hn?"  
  
"You know, get it on?"  
  
"Oh"  
  
We arrived at the car just in time. Quat and Tro looked like there were about to loose their pants.  
  
"Ahem," I interrupted, "If you two wouldn't mind continuing that in the car."  
  
"Oh, sorry," Quatre blushed.  
  
They were in the car in a flash  
  
"Well do you wanna drive Heero, or should I?"  
  
"Hn"  
  
"I guess I'm driving this time."  
  
Heero walked around to the passenger side of the car, and just before he got in. "Heero."  
  
He glanced up at me as if something were wrong.  
  
"Thanks for trusting me with your problems, even after al the yelling and complaining I've done."  
  
"Don't worry about it. It was mainly my fault for you yelling and I guess I deserved it. I should be thanking you for listening to me after everything I have done to you."  
  
With that, we both got into the car and headed down the road. The entire time I couldn't stop thinking about the many things that have happened in the past few hours.  
  
[What's going on? Heero, Stoic Heero. The ever quiet Heero has been speaking to me. I mean more than 'Hn' and his usual 3-6 word phrases. I can't make anything of it. He has even allowed me to hear on of his deep secrets. I mean, who would have thought Heero Yui would ever have a crush on someone.I wonder who it could be? He already said it wasn't Relena so.]  
  
Sounds began coming from the back seat.  
  
"Um, hey, can you two keep it below rated X back there? I'm trying to drive up here."  
  
"mmm.sorry."came one of the muffled voices.  
  
Heero was busy staring out the window so he didn't notice the porn being displayed in the back seat. In no time at all, I was back to thinking.  
  
[Now, if it isn't Relena, who could it be? He doesn't much like any of the cheerleaders that faun over him all the time. I wonder if it's that girl that sits in front of him in our programming class? Nah, she's too quiet. That would be a boring relationship. Maybe it's.]  
  
"Duo."  
  
"Yea Heero?"  
  
"Um, you just passed your turn."  
  
"Shit. I wasn't paying attention. Sorry about that Heero.Hey Quatre, Trowa, you guys might want to postpone the porn show. We are almost there."  
  
We arrived at the space port and found that there was a four hour delay. I wanted to look around at some of the shops while we waited. I asked if any of the others wanted to go. Quatre and Trowa were still all over each other, and Heero wasn't much for shopping, so I left them. Half way through the space port, I noticed that most of the shops and stalls were over-crowded due to the delayed flights to L4.  
  
I decided to head back to sit and wait with the others. When I got there, Heero was sitting alone.  
  
"Heero, where did Trowa and Quatre go?"  
  
"They went to the bathroom, or at least that's what they told me."  
  
He turned and looked me in the eyes, and then I understood where they went.  
  
"Have you ever wondered how they could do that in a public restroom," I asked with a smirk on my face."  
  
"Hn"  
  
"Well it doesn't look like we're goin' to be doin' much when we get back."  
  
"."  
  
"How 'bout we continue our conversation from earlier?"  
  
"Hn?"  
  
"Yea, nobody here is paying attention, and even if they are, they wouldn't know who we were talking about anyway."  
  
"I guess."  
  
"Great."  
  
"So, what would you do for someone you had a crush on, Duo?"  
  
"Hmmm.I never put much thought behind it. I guess that's because my crush is like my opposite, but if I were."  
  
"What do you mean opposite?"  
  
"Well, you know, they are everything that I'm not. They are quiet; they keep their grades up and spend a lot of time analyzing things."  
  
"Oh, I see."  
  
"But anyway, I guess I would probably cook them a dinner or something and spend an evening by the fire. I don't know what else I would do, but I do know that if someone were to do that for me, I would probably melt in their hands."  
  
"That sounds nice. You must think very highly of this person duo? I guess I could try that."  
  
[Oh, I really do think highly of you Heero. It's a shame you have a crush on someone else.]  
  
"Well hey Heero, if you want to do this in our apartment, I can stay upstairs out of the way for a night."  
  
"You would do that for me, Duo?"  
  
[That and much more if you only knew how I really felt about you.] "Yea sure, I mean come on Heero, you are my best friend."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"Yea, no problem."  
  
[What am I saying? Yea there is a problem. Heero is mine, and here I am telling how to set up the perfect date, my perfect date, with someone else.]  
  
"Duo, are you okay?"  
  
"Huh, yea sure, why?"  
  
"It seems like you have a lot on your mind."  
  
"Oh no, I'm fine.So is there anything else you need help with?"  
  
"Actually yes, but can it wait until we are home?"  
  
"Well, we have another hour, and Quatre and Trowa.speak of the devils."  
  
They both started blushing.  
  
"So you guys need to spend not one but TWO hours in the bathroom?" I smirked.  
  
"Um, well."  
  
"What Trowa is trying to say is."  
  
"What he means is."  
  
"Guys, don't try to play it off. Both Heero and I know what you were doing in there."  
  
"Hn" Heero smirked.  
  
That's right, he smirked. That's something that doesn't happen too often, but anyway.  
  
"Should be hold off on going to the club tonight?"  
  
Right then, Quatre, Trowa, and Heero fell flat on their faces.  
  
"What? What did I say?"  
  
"Hey Duo," Quatre spoke up, "are you feeling okay?"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"You are willing to put off partying in a club 'till tomorrow?"  
  
"Oh, that. Well, I figured that by the time we got there, the party would be half over."  
  
"Now boarding for flight 069 to Colony L4." came the voice over the intercom.  
  
"Let's get out of here before we have to wait another two hours for the next flight.  
  
The ride back to L4 was very interesting. I won't get into it right now. Let's just say that one of the flight attendants tried to stop Trowa from thanking Quatre for the trip to the circus. And I still don't know how they both got into that tiny bathroom in the back of the shuttle.  
  
When we finally got to L4 Heero and I decided to break those two up. We made Quatre drive, and I sat in the back with Trowa.  
  
Quatre dropped Heero and I off at our apartment and Trowa quickly just up to the front seat. As they drove off, I noticed that the car was swerving back and forth down the road.  
  
"I don't know Heero, maybe hey should have went straight to their apartment. We could have walked home."  
  
"Hn.they'll be fine."  
  
"Yea, I guess you are right."  
  
We headed in the apartment and Heero when straight for his computer.  
  
[Figures, he's been away from that think all day...Wait a sec. I still have that email I sent to myself from his computer. I still have a few hours before dinner. That should be plenty of time to decode his journal.]  
  
"Hey Heero, I'll be upstairs if you need anything okay."  
  
"Hn"  
  
I ran upstairs and headed straight fro my computer. I opened the email and took on the task of trying to find out what Heero was writing.  
  
[WHAT, access denied! Figures he would use a password.]  
  
----End Flash Back----  
  
Well hey journal, I'll finish telling you about the past couple of days later. I need to get some sleep before school tomorrow. It's almost midnight and I know Heero will be waking me up within the next six hours.  
  
PS. I will try to write everyday since there are a lot of things going on.  
  
I hope you guys are still enjoying this. Please tell me what to do to make it better. I took the advice from some of you and made this chapter longer. The problem with the longer chapters is that it will take me longer to type them up and get them to you. Please let me know if you want the longer chapters or not.  
  
Keep up the reviews. 


	5. She's a what?

Normal Disclaimer: I don't own anything. This is for fun.  
  
Sorry about the delay. I haven't had much inspiration. Just to let you know ahead of time. This chapter comes in three parts, so there is a reason for the parts being short.  
  
On with the fic.  
  
Journal Entry No. 5 Monday, December 9, PT 001  
  
This is great journal. School is closed for the next two days because of the magnetic storm that's been hanging around the colonies.  
  
Let's see, the last time I wrote I left off at me trying to read Heero's journal.  
  
----Flash Back----  
  
I spent about two hours Saturday night, before dinner, trying to decide Heero's journal.  
  
[It figures that he would create his own code. This is going to take long than I thought unless.I can use that little trick Heero showed me when he was hacking OZ files. All I have to do is change it a little and this thing will decode itself.and there.]  
  
"Now all I've got to do is sit back and relax."  
  
"Duo!"  
  
"Yea, Heero?"  
  
"How about I order pizza tonight instead of you slaving away in the kitchen?"  
  
"He finished the question as I walked down the steps."  
  
"Why Heero, are you trying to be nice?"  
  
"Hn"  
  
"I think you are."  
  
"Stupid baka, I just wanted to have pizza for once."  
  
"Yea sure, so what kinda pizza do you want?"  
  
"Extra cheese and pepperoni is enough for me."  
  
"Okay."  
  
I ordered the pizza and it arrived about 40 minutes later. Heero and I sat down and watched TV. He had the remote, so he was in charge of the TV. We ended up watching some show with these three guys. It was kinda interesting, but not something I would watch on my own. I mean it had a good plot and all, but it didn't have enough action in it.  
  
"So Duo, what do you think about Quatre and Trowa?"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I mean them being together."  
  
"Oh I really don't have a problem with them being together. What about you?"  
  
"I don't know, I never really put much thought behind it."  
  
"Heero, what was it that you wanted to tell me earlier?"  
  
"Hn?"  
  
"Remember you were going to tell me something when we got home. You know, about your crush."  
  
"Oh well."  
  
"Well.."  
  
"It's kinda complicated."  
  
"How so?"  
  
"Well about the person I like She's well."  
  
"Go on."  
  
"Well, she is really a he."  
  
I fell flat on my face.  
  
"So you are telling me that you don't have a crush on a girl, but you have a crush on a guy?"  
  
"Is there a problem with that. I figured that since you didn't have a problem with Trowa and Quatre, that you wouldn't mind me."  
  
"Heck no, I just want to know how long have you known?"  
  
"I've kinda known since Quatre and Trowa got together."  
  
"Wait so you are saying you've known about them the entire time?"  
  
"Well, yes. I was the reason you didn't find out sooner cause I thought you wouldn't agree to them being.well, you know."  
  
He turned away as if her were afraid to look me in the eye.  
  
"Don't be upset Heero, I think I understand why you did it."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yea"  
  
"He gave me a hug, which really caught me off guard because, that was the first time he ever showed his feeling to me. After the hug he went back to watching TV. Another episode of that show was on.  
  
"Hey Heero, I'm going to head back upstairs okay."  
  
"Hn."  
  
[That's more like it. He's back to his quiet self. Now, I need to get back up to my computer. I need to know who he has a crush on.]  
  
I sat in front of the glowing screen and saw that the file was 78% complete.  
  
[Great, while that finishes, I will check my email.]  
  
"You've got mail," came the voice from the computer.  
  
[Ok, let's see.junk, junk, junk, school work from Quatre, junk, job offer? I wonder what that is?"  
  
EMAIL (Job Offer)  
He Duo, it's Quatre. My father's company has asked me to become the president, after I get out of college. I was wondering if you would like to be my head accountant? You don't have to give me an answer now thought. Well, I will talk to ya later. PS. I've sent the same offer to the others as well.  
  
[I will talk to Heero about it later]  
  
"Yes, the file is done. Now to see who Heero's crush is."  
  
When I opened the file to read it, a warning popped up that said I am watching you. I quickly shut down my computer and went to check on Heero. I walked downstairs into the kitchen to get something to drink. He was still sitting on the couch watching some show.  
  
"Night Heero."  
  
"Hn."  
  
[Man, if I keep this up, we will be able to hold a conversation with him just saying 'Hn']  
  
I left the file alone for the rest of the night. I didn't trust that warning it gave me.  
  
The next morning (Sunday), I woke up to an angry Heero.  
  
Reminder: This is the first part of the chapter. You will understand when I post the next chapter, which should be up by Saturday. 


	6. Damn Storm!

Normal Disclaimer: I don't own anything. This is for fun.  
  
Sorry about the delay. I've had to practice and be a rehearsals a lot, so I've been very busy. I am sorry for not updating in weeks.  
  
On with the fic.  
  
Journal Entry No. 6 Monday, December 9, PT 001  
  
Damn it, I hat magnetic storms. Sorry about that cut off journal, we just lost power for about 3 hours. Anyway when I woke up, Heero sounder pissed at me.  
  
----Flash Back----  
  
"Duo!!! GET UP NOW!!!"  
  
"What? What is it, Heero?"  
  
"Where is my computer!?!"  
  
"I don't know, what time is it?"  
  
"I cant find my computer!"  
  
"Did you check downstairs? That's where I saw you using it last."  
  
"It's not there."  
  
"Did you check your bag?"  
  
"Why would it be there?"  
  
"I don't know, it's your laptop."  
  
"Hn."  
  
"I hope you find it. I'm going back to sleep."  
  
"No, you're not."  
  
"Now what?"  
  
"It's one in the afternoon."  
  
"So, we don't have to meet Quatre and Tro until this evening."  
  
"We need to go to the store."  
  
"What?!?"  
  
"."  
  
"Why do we eed to go to the store? Did we run out of food or something?"  
  
"Hn.no"  
  
"Then what?"  
  
"I need your help."  
  
"With what."  
  
"Well I want to invite that person I was telling you about the other day."  
  
"Okay, sure. I will help, but next time ask me don't tell me what to do."  
  
"Sorry."  
  
"Okay. Well give me an hour to get ready."  
  
I took a shower and headed to the store with Heero. Journal I thought I was always energetic and full of questions, but Heero practically wore me out. We went to three stores and he asked me what I would want if I were going over somebody's house on a date. Needless to say, after four hours of shopping, we finally came home.  
  
Heero was full of surprises. Usually we would walk into the apartment and he would head straight for his computer. Instead he was preparing things for this person that he supposed invited over tonight. He went on as if I weren't even around.  
  
"Heero?"  
  
"Hn."  
  
"I guess you aren't going with us to the club tonight."  
  
"No, I figured that I would invite that guy over, while you guys are out having fun."  
  
"Oh.well, let me know if you need any help before I go."  
  
"Okay."  
  
It was about 5:30 when that happened. I left Heero and went to get ready. I had to meet Quatre and Trowa at 6:30. We were going to stop and get dinner, then head to the club. Around 6:15, I came back downstairs to one of the most surprising thing that I have ever witnessed. Heero was in the kitchen pulling out pots and pans as if he were about to cook.  
  
"Heero.What are you doing."  
  
"I'm following your advice. You said to make the night special. I know for a fact that this guy will like this."  
  
"Yea, but I didn't know you could cook."  
  
"There are many things you don't know about me, Duo."  
  
"Well I hope you and your, friend, have a good time. Do you think I will be able to meet him?"  
  
"You already know who it is. No get going before Quatre and Trowa leave you here."  
  
"But."  
  
"Duo, I promise you will meet him."  
  
[Okay, well for once I'm not going to pester him for answers.]  
  
"Okay.I will see you later tonight..  
  
Sorry, that's all I have for right now. I'm sorry I've kept you waiting for such a lousy entry. I have the next written. I just haven't had time to type it up.  
  
I will try to get the next chapter up as soon as I can without getting fired for my job for not practicing my part.  
  
Here's a little overview of the next part of the story..  
  
Duo, gets back from the club angry cause every guy in the club tries to get him in bed. Quatre and Trowa disappear for 4 hours. And Duo returns home to find Heero sitting alone in the living room. 


	7. Note from the Author

Hey all!!!  
  
I am very sorry that I haven't updated this story in a very long time. College started back up and things got kinda crazy. I am currently trying to finish the next chapter of this fic, I hope those of you out there that were interested when I started this still are. I really would like to keep this going for a while cause I have so many ideas. If this fic turns out to be a success, I was thinking of doing something similar for Heero, but that is a long ways off.  
  
I just wanted to let you know that I am trying to get this to you ASAP.  
  
Again, I would like to apologize and I will try to get the next chapter typed up and on fanfic within the week.  
  
Thanks  
  
Jeice 


	8. What's wrong?

Journal Entry #7 Monday, December 9, PT 001  
  
"Stupid Storm! All I want to do is finish this fuckin' entry so I can go to bed!!! Now where was I..."  
  
"Duo is everything okay?" "What, yea Heero. Everything's great. Sorry for waking you." "Hn..." "Poor guy, he obviously didn't get any sleep last night, but I'm not to that part of the story yet." -------------Flash Back-------- to the club on Sunday night "Hey Quatre, Trowa where are you guys!?" [I can't believe they left me in this place alone. This would be a lot more fun if Heero were here... I wonder what he and his dinner date are up to? They are probably sitting around chatting about school and stuff....]  
  
"Hey..." A voice came from behind me.  
  
I turned to see Trey, one of the guys from school, standing behind me.  
  
"What are you doing here Duo?"  
  
"Hey Trey. I usually come here to have fun, but my friends I came in with disappeared."  
  
"Oh you mean Quatre and Trowa?"  
  
"Yea."  
  
"They left in their car just as I pulled up."  
  
"What!!" I yelled, as people turned to stare at me. "What do you mean they left?!"  
  
"Well, what else would I mean?"  
  
"Are you sure it was them you saw?"  
  
"I believe it was them....Blond with green eyes and a smile that will light up the world and a taller guy with really long bangs..."  
  
"Yea, thats them. I can't believe they left me here with no way home."  
  
"Hey, if you need a ride, I'm going home in 20 minutes...."  
  
"Thanks Trey...."  
  
"Hey would you like something to drink?"  
  
"Sure, I'll have whatever you have.....so why are you here?"  
  
"Well it's a long story, but the short answer is that I'm just not ready to be tied down...."  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
  
"There's this cut guy in school that asked me out tonight. I tried to tell him that I wasn't interested, but I just couldn't tell him no. So now, I just couldn't go through with it, so I came here for a couple of drinks and a few dances."  
  
"You should have told this guy you weren't coming at least."  
  
"Nah, he's really stubborn. I doubt he would have taken no for an answer."  
  
"Sounds like a friend of mine."  
  
"Well, Duo, are you ready to go home?"  
  
"Yea, Trey."  
  
Trey and I pulled up to the apartment complex about 20 minutes after we left the club.  
  
"Funny how I managed to avoid this area for the past two days, only to end up coming here today, of all days."  
  
"What are you talking about, Trey?"  
  
"I was supposed to meet that guy I was telling you about in one of these buildings."  
  
"Oh I see.....well who ever this guy is, I don't think you should have left 'em hangin' like that, but who am I to be tellingyou how to run your life. Well, I'll catch you in school tomorrow." "Yea, see ya around."  
  
I unlocked the door to the apartment and immediately notice the wonderful fragrance from within.  
  
[Man, Heero really can cook. I'm gonna have to ask him to cook dinner every once and a while.] "Hey Heero, I'm home! How was your date?"  
  
"..........."  
  
[No answer, maybe he's upstairs.]  
  
I walked upstairs and found the door to his room open.  
  
[I wonder where he is?]  
  
I went back to the living room where I found a note that read:  
  
Duo, I remember how worried you got the last time you didn't know where I was, so I wrote this note. I am out on the roof, let me know when you get back. Heero  
  
P.S. Can you bring something warm to drink when you come?  
  
[At least he left a note this time.]  
  
About 10 minutes later I made my way onto the roof.  
  
"Hey Heero, here's that drink you wanted."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"So how was your little dinner date?"  
  
"Hn...."  
  
"So where is he, don't tell me he left before I got a chance to meet him."  
  
"........"  
  
"Well....."  
  
"Not now Duo."  
  
"Common, you can tell me. Did he enjoy the dinner?"  
  
He just sat there with his eyes staring into space. He seemed so focused and yet distracted at the same time.  
  
[God he is so hot just sitting there with the wind blowing in his hair.] "Herro....."  
  
He turned and looked at me with tears in his eyes. It was something that I don't ever recall seeing ever since I've met Herro. I walked over to him. The entire time he was staring at me, as if he were asking for help.  
  
"Heero what's wrong?"  
  
"Why does it have to be this way?"  
  
"What does what have to be what way?"  
  
"Life."  
  
"I don't understand, Heero."  
  
"I've spent my entire life being trained to be perfect. I had to work hard to attain my goals. I tried to never ask for help unless it was absolutely necessary. No matter what the goal was, I always reached it and surpassed it. So why is it I can't lead a normal life. It seems so simple. Go to school, got a good job, have a family, and live a happy long life. Why can't I do it?"  
  
"Heero, you are doing that, and so far you are doing great."  
  
"Then why......"  
  
"Why what? Come on Heero, you can trust me."  
  
At that point he broke down right in front of me. The tears fell down his face as he tilted his head down and rested on my shoulder.  
  
"Why didn't he come?"  
  
At that point everything came clear to me. The guy that Heero was after, stood him up. I wrapped my arms around him in an attempt to comfort him.  
  
"Shhh....it's going to be okay Heero. Just let it all out, it will make you feel better." [Poor Heero. Who the hell would stand him up? I mean he's a great guy. He's smart and athletic, not to mention he's by far, the hottest guy in school....wait a sec, didn't Trey say he was supposed to go on a date with somebody from this apartment complex? I wonder if it was him?]  
  
Heero began to calm down a bit. By then he had his arms wrapped around me and his face buried in my shoulder. He was no longer crying, but I could tell he was still very upset.  
  
[I will have to talk to Trey, maybe he is still up? I'll call him in a few minutes.] "Heero, let's go inside...."  
  
"No not yet. I'd like to stay here for a while longer."  
  
"Okay then, I will be back up with something else to drink."  
  
"......."  
  
[I guess that means okay. He's back to being the silent unemotional guy that he normally is.]  
  
When I got back inside, I called Trey to see if he was the one that Heero tonight.  
  
---------Phone Call--------  
  
Ring, Ring, Ring  
  
"Hello..."  
  
"Hey, is Trey there?"  
  
"Speaking."  
  
"Hey Trey, it's Duo, I hope I'm not interupting anything."  
  
"No I just stepped in the door."  
  
"Oh okay, well can I ask you a question. You don't have to answer if you don't want to."  
  
"Okay what's the question?"  
  
"Remember you were telling me about that guy you were supposed to go out with tonight?"  
  
"Yea, what about him?"  
  
"What was his name?"  
  
"Umm....Heero....you know that guy in our class."  
  
"Yea...Hey Trey, I got some news for ya."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Heero is my roomate....."  
  
"Poor you. How can you live with somebody like that...."  
  
"He's really not that bad, but that's not the point. Trey man, Heero really likes you. He spent about $400 so you guys could have the perfect date. And he fixed dinner. Now I've known Heero for a while, but he has never cooked for anyone until now."  
  
"What do you want me to do about it?"  
  
"Look I know you don't want to go out with him but I think you need to explain to him that it isn't his fault and apologize for standing him up."  
  
"Why should I do that?"  
  
"Because, man, you made him cry, and Heero never cries. I mean I have seen him break and set his own broken bones without even wincing and you manage to touch something within him to lose control of his emotions. There's that, and if you don't, Quatre, Trowa, and I will kick your ass from here till graduation."  
  
"Oh please....."  
  
"Remember that kid James that was in the hospital for a month back in September?"  
  
"Yea, he got hit by a car."  
  
"Not exactly. Let's just say he found out that punching Quatre had consequences."  
  
"Okay, I get the point. I'll stop by tomorrow to apologize."  
  
"Okay, then I will cya tomorrow."  
  
"Yea sure. CYA Duo."  
  
----------------------End Flash back------------------------- Well Journal, there is more to this story, but there may be school tomorrow, and I have try and cheer Heero up. I can stand to see him upset like this.  
  
Oh yea, I just walk back in from his room and he looks so cute when he is sleeping.  
  
I will write again tomorrow cause I need to tell you what happens between Trey and Heero. Cya later. 


	9. Heero, NO!

Journal Entry #9  
  
Wednesday, December 11, PT001  
  
Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN IT.  
  
Holy Shit!! Today was a long and interesting day. Journal, you won't believe what happened. It started this morning around 2 a.m. Yes, I know that's early, but hear me out.  
  
----Flash Back----  
  
----Dream----  
  
"Heero, where are you !?! This isn't funny anymore.If you aren't going to come out, I'm going home, 'cause I'm not about to walk down another dark alley looking for you!!"  
  
"Over here," a voice came from the shadows.  
  
"Heero? Is that you?"  
  
"No, it's me."  
  
"Me who? Look whoever you are, come out here and show yourself."  
  
"Fine then." The man came out form the shadows with a grin on his face.  
  
"No.not again.Why won't you leave me alone!?!"  
  
"I will.once I get a piece of that ass you got there."  
  
With that last statement, I ran. I ran for a few blocks. When I turned around, the man was gone. I relaxed a bit and tried to catch my breath. When I turned back around, he was there. He threw me to the ground and took a nearby club and broke my left arm and a few of my ribs. Then I began to cough up blood.  
  
"Now, slut! Tonight, your ass will be mine!"  
  
He began to tear my clothes off, but I was in too much pain to do anything about it. The man then took his member and began to thrust it in me. By then I was in so pain, all I could do was yell.  
  
"HEERO!"  
  
"That's it, year, keep yelling!"  
  
"HEERO!!"  
  
"That's right, Duo, yell for me."  
  
He then started to thrust even harder.  
  
"AHH!!!"  
  
----End Dream----  
  
"DUO!!"  
  
"AHH!!!"  
  
"DUO!! Wake up!"  
  
"STOP.PLEASE STOP!!!"  
  
"DUO, please open your eyes!!"  
  
When I finally opened my eyes, Heero was standing over my bed with worry in his eyes. I quickly sat up and looked around the room. I was no longer outsided. I then glanced back at Heero.  
  
"Duo, what's wrong? What happened?"  
  
I couldn't tell him what was wrong. I mean what would he think of me? Me, the 'God of Death,' having nightmares about somebody I killed. It's not like I haven't killed before.  
  
"Duo, you can tell me."  
  
I knew he was telling the truth, but I couldn't tell him.  
  
"It was just a bad dream Heero."  
  
"Hn.Well, try to get some rest. We have to be up for school in a few hours."  
  
Heero turned and began to walk out the door.  
  
"Heero."  
  
He turned and looked me straight in the eye.  
  
"Don't leave me."  
  
"Duo, you need to get some sleep."  
  
"Please."  
  
"Duo, I don't think that's a good idea."  
  
"Heero, I don't care if you like guys, just don't leave me here.alone."  
  
"Hn...Fine, but only for tonight."  
  
He returned to my bed and laid on top of the blankets. Within minutes, we were both sleeping again.  
  
Even though I had that nightmare, that had to be the best nights sleep I've had in a long time. I haven't felt that calm and safe since before the war. It almost felt as if I belonged there beside him. The lonely think I remember after falling asleep was.  
  
"Duo." cam the soft voice.  
  
"Not now, ten more minutes."  
  
"Duo, it's 11 a.m."  
  
"What!"  
  
I rushed out of bed and ran to my closet to find clothes.  
  
"Um, Duo."  
  
"Sorry I didn't get up for school, Heero. I'll be down in 2 minutes."  
  
"But, Duo."  
  
"I'm really sorry, Heero."  
  
"Duo!"  
  
Heero grabbed me by my shoulders and told me to calm down.  
  
"What about school?"  
  
"Baka, that's what I've been trying to tell you. School is closed again. The strm is moving slower that predicted, but we should be back in school tomorrow."  
  
[What in the hell is going on?! Not only is he speaking to me, he's using full sentences.]  
  
"Duo, is everything okay?"  
  
"Yea Heero."  
  
"Good, I made breakfast if you would like to eat."  
  
"Great! I'll be down."  
  
" And maybe when you come down, you can tell me about last night."  
  
"Yea, sure but only if you don't make fun of me."  
  
"Okay."  
  
After Heero left, I went to take a shower and then headed downstairs. When I got down there, Heero was standing at the stove.  
  
"How do you want your eggs?"  
  
"Umm, scrambled is fine.Man Heero, this smells great. Where did you learn to cook."  
  
"During the war."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Well sit down, your eggs are ready."  
  
While I ate breakfast, Heero sat across from me and just stared at me. It was weird, but I'm starting to get used to it.  
  
After we finished eating, I helped Heero wash the dishes.  
  
"Heero, that was the best meal I've ever had. Maybe you should cook from now on."  
  
"Hn."  
  
After the dishes were done, we headed to the living room and sat on the couch. I was a bit nervous because I knew Heero was concerned about last night.  
  
"Duo, what happened last night?"  
  
"What do you mean, what happened last night?" I grinned at him as if everything was okay.  
  
"No games this time, I'm serious."  
  
"I cant tell you."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"You will think I'm weak and not worth being around."  
  
"Duo, I fought along side you in many battles. I think you've done more than enough to prove that you aren't weak."  
  
[Wow! He's doing that full sentence thing again.] "Do you promise?" [I might as well tell him, beside he's my best friend.]  
  
"Yes, I promise."  
  
"Okay, well the story is."  
  
*Doorbell*  
  
[Saved by the bell.] "Let me get the door Heero."  
  
"Hn."  
  
"Who is it?!?"  
  
"It's us, Duo," came the cal monotoned voice.  
  
"Oh, he Tro, hey Quat. What brings you guys here?"  
  
"We wanted to apologize for Sunday night. We shouldn't have left you at the club iwht no ride home."  
  
"Oh, don't worry about it, Trowa."  
  
"But we should have at least told you we were leaving." Quatre added.  
  
"It's okay, Quat. Do you guys wanna come in for some coffee?"  
  
"Sure," Quatre replied.  
  
"Well, head into the kitchen, I'll be right in."  
  
Quatre and Trowa walked to the kitchen and I stopped in the living room.  
  
"Heero, I'm going to fix Quat and Tro some coffee. Do you want any?"  
  
"No."  
  
He turned and began watching TV.  
  
"Okay, well I'm going to talk with them for a bit, then I'll be back to tell you what's been bothering me."  
  
"Hn."  
  
I went into the kitchen and started to make some coffee. We started making plans for Christmas. About ten minutes into the conversation, the doorbell rang again.  
  
"I wonder who that is?"  
  
I began heading for the door. Just before I got into the other room, the door opened. I assumed Heero was going to handle whoever it was. Just as I turned to walk back into the kitchen, I heard Heero.  
  
"What do you want?" he asked in a cold voice.  
  
"I came to apologize, and to talk."  
  
I recognized the voice. It was Trey. Not knowing how Heero would react to seeing Trey, I decided to stay and listen in on them.  
  
"Look, Heero. I am sorry for standing you up Sunday night."  
  
"Hn."  
  
"When you aksed me to have dinner with you last week, I was flattered. I mean, it's not everyday that the hottest guy in school asks you out on a date. You know what I mean?"  
  
"."  
  
"Well, I guess you don't, seeing as you ARE the hottest guy in school."  
  
"Hnnn.."  
  
Heero was sounding like he was getting a bit agitated with Trey.  
  
"Anyway, Heero. I also came here to tell you that I'm not interested in dating you."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because you aren't my type."  
  
"Then why didn't you say something when I asked you to come over in the first place?"  
  
"Because."  
  
"Because? Is that you only reason?"  
  
I took that as a cue. I didn't wan things to get out of hand. I walked in the room casually, as if I hadn't heard the conversation.  
  
"Heero, who was at the.Oh, hey Trey."  
  
"Well, Heero, I thought 'because' would have been enough. I figured that since you rarely speak, you would have gotten the message."  
  
"I went out and spent $406.72 for a 'BECAUSE'!?!"  
  
"Heero, calm down," I said as I placed a hand on his shoulder."  
  
"Yea, man," Trey added.  
  
Heero brushed my hand off his shoulder.  
  
"Heero calm down, He's not worth it."  
  
"Yea Heero, I'm not worth it, besides nobody told you to spend that much money on a date. I thought you of all people would have enough common sense to know that."  
  
"I'm going to kill you!!"  
  
"Heero, NO!!!"  
  
Before I could do anything, Heero had run across the room and in blind rage, he threw Trey into a wall.  
  
"Heero stop!"  
  
I ran over and tried to pull Heero off Trey but I couldn't. Then I remember Heero pushing me and something hit me in the back of my head. Then I remember wakig up in a car with Heero looking at me.  
  
"Where are we?"  
  
Heero was looking at me, telling me to say calm.  
  
"We are on our way to the hospital."  
  
"Why, what happened Heero?  
  
"I'm so sorry Duo, I didn't mean to."  
  
"Heero, I'm kinda tired."  
  
My eyes started to close.  
  
"No, Duo stay awake!!"  
  
"But, I'm so tired."  
  
"No.Trowa, GO FASTER!"  
  
----End Flash Back----  
  
When I woke up again, I was laying in a hospital bed, and Heero was sleeping in the chair next to me. My Journal was sitting on the stand between me and Heero so I decided to write. But now I'm going to go back to sleep 'cause I have a really bad head ache right now. I will write again soon. 


	10. Read Part 2 of the Trilogy

Hey, all sorry for the wait. I just wanted to get this story back at the top of the list.  
  
This is mainly a heads up to look out for Heero's Computer. I am typing is as you read this.  
  
Thanks for all your patience, and always, please review/fame so I know what you want to read.  
  
Thanks,  
  
Jeice 


	11. AN: Want More?

Ok everyone, I'm back and this time I mean it. It's been almost 2 years since I've added anything to this fic. Is anyone still interested in me continuing?

If so, I need your help. I am currently reading through the entire FIC (Duo's Journal and Heero's Computer) trying to come up with some good ideas. So send me some stories that you think might help or feel free to email me some ideas.

And a big thank you to everyone that has read this fic and supported my first try at writing fanfic. AND There were a couple of people interested in BETA-ing. If you are still interested or if there is anyone interested, let me know. I am interested in going though and updating the chapters and reposting this fic.


End file.
